He had no game. Reason — Work, money, and approval of boyfriend. I took over absolutely everything. She shot me until I was half dead. Highly recommended for anti-pornography activists! So I added Suze to my mental shitlist of people I could not trust and decided to stop working with her. In the introduction to the book Jenna says: And because of that, I felt comfortable, like I could let down my guard and be myself without worrying that he wanted anything from me. Everyone was relieved, but at the same time, we had all changed:
And, though the editors had never spoken a word to me, they featured interviews in which I discussed how inordinately horny I was, how much I like sex with anonymous strangers, and how I fantasized about inviting my girlfriends over for threesomes with my boyfriend. His eyes reddened, his voice squeaked. I wanted him to be proud of me. The guy knew from day one that dancing was what I did for work — and the reason I could afford the two hundred dollar tennis shoes he had on his feet. When he discussed the interview, he seemed to be dropping hints about going on a date or getting sexual favors from me in exchange for the article. The above is a work in progress. I took out all my negative experiences on him Rod and really fucked him up, because I had nothing to lose. I was still living out unresolved conflicts from my past. They called me Shelly or Daisy or Missy. He pushed me up against the wall and kissed me. I wanted him to care. I looked at him blankly, stood up, and walked away. He Howard Stern seemed determined to know what had a made a girl like me become a porn star. When it smacked me between the eye, it flipped a switch in my head. Hearing it since — no matter who spoke it — sent bubbles of anger boiling to the surface of my skin. I would insult every aspect of his masculinity and threaten to leave, because I truly did not need him. One of us would tell the other what to do, and the other would bristle and snap back. However, dating a male performer is also a kiss of death for most girls. The porn industry and success within in it can change you and others for the worse. You will likely be around a lot of people drinking and taking drugs, with a lot of temptation to succumb yourself. I realized it could serve any purpose I needed. In my head I prepared a response: His jaw was set, his eyes blazed, his voice trembled. And if your daughter one day said to you, if you had a daughter, if she came to you and said that she wanted to get into that industry? But it was a major ego blow to Rod. I would cry myself to sleep at night begging you to just fucking hug me, and you would tell me to go fuck myself.
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