Among the half who had mastectomies, one-third had reconstructions. Getting used to your new body can also be an obstacle to overcome before resuming intimacy with your partner. Sex for women has many components. It is important to make sure you are comfortable doing normal activities before adding anything frisky. There is something wonderful about having breasts. The expectation is that a real man will covet his wife for more than her boobs and selflessly extol her beauty regardless. Then, once treatment starts, its side effects typically include desire-killing fatigue, depression, hair loss and nausea.
Sadly, I have talked to women who are painfully aware that their partners have an aversion to their changed body with a missing body part. As with other relationship shocks, breast cancer demands your willingness to discuss the situation — and to provide generous emotional support. Your comfort is most important. Discomfort having a lover touch it. For patients who had a tissue flap, like the DIEP flap, there could be additional swelling or discomfort in the donor site area. After surgery you are going to experience some levels of pain and discomfort. Sexual frequency and satisfaction usually return to prediagnosis levels within a year or two. Even the strongest partnership can be challenged as we try to find other means of stimulation and joy in our sexual relationship. It is like learning to be sexual all over again. My wife, Anne, was treated for breast cancer 22 years ago, so I've had personal experience with the sexual impact of the disease. But many women are clear they don't want that. The type of reconstructive surgery you had could impact your waiting time. The women who reported post-treatment sex problems, however, also reported low levels of relationship satisfaction in general. The affect on our sex drive and life can be disheartening. Chemotherapy suppresses vaginal lubrication. In other words, breast cancer survivors recover not just physically but sexually within about two years. Rest assured and know you are beautiful and perfect! Don't expect sex during treatment, or for a month or two afterward. The pleasure that was felt from the caress of our breasts is mostly gone with the nipples and areolas. Indeed, women in the happiest relationships often said the cancer had contributed to increased sexual satisfaction. In a relationship where sex was enjoyed, it can be confusing for our partners that sex for us is different. Compared with a control group of cancer-free women, the participants' libido, erotic responsiveness, orgasms and sexual satisfaction were pretty much the same. Especially important is how a woman feels about her own body. If breast cancer and its aftermath become a sticking point in your relationship, consider sex therapy. Michael Castleman , publisher of the website GreatSexAfter On top of that, most long-term studies survey women just six to 12 months after treatment — not very long-term at all, if you ask me.
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