Neither hetero nor lesbian were terms that reflected who she was. Surgery can be viewed by some as unimportant, but for many, having their body match their gender identity is everything. The sixth person Krystle spoke to was Dean, a year-old student. For me, it kind of confirmed my sexuality. She has had sexual experiences with women in the past, but always identified as predominantly hetero. The process made her question her own sexual identity.
She says she was reluctant to tell her partner out of fear it was the truth. Two years later she came out as transgender and a woman. She too previously identified as a lesbian, before preferring the term queer. The people she spoke to had some positive experiences. Something was different or missing, sexually. She also felt like she was losing a girlfriend, rather than gaining a boyfriend. Her research, overseen by Massey University, was published in the international journal Culture, Health and Sexuality earlier this month. The Ministry of Health estimates the wait for just the 19th person on the list is 38 years. The current rate is three surgeries every two years. Her partner, who she has been with for almost four years, is now a trans man. Do you not like me? Dean also identifies as pansexual and wanted to remain with his partner, who now identifies as female, but she left him. She found just how important partners of people transitioning can be and how little there is in the way of support. She spoke to six partners of people who have, or are going through, a gender transition process and documented their experiences. She has had sexual experiences with women in the past, but always identified as predominantly hetero. Many questioned their own gender and sexual identity. It became very much like what it means to have sex like a male in a heterosexual relationship. But they still felt lost at times, and unsure of the right things to say and how to act. All but one are in their twenties. Sexual intimacy has stopped, but she expects that to return as her partner becomes more masculine and comfortable in his own body. Krystle did her best to be supportive. It covered a range of sexual identities and experiences. About 40 percent of transgender students have significant depressive symptoms, and nearly 50 percent have self-harmed in the past 12 months. They have seen firsthand the difficulties that come with being transgender. He changed his name, hairstyle, clothing and began using chest binders and strap-ons. And for her, and the six people she spoke to, just talking about it helps. Being queer did not restrict her to a set of rules.
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