I had been raised to be polite—to be a gentleman. I was able to make myself settle down finally. I forced myself to relax and listen to the strains of the orchestra on the CD that was playing. The skin of her arms looked pale and soft and so womanly. She had luxurious dark brown hair, long and thick. I didn't think I could take anymore. The bell finally rang and I gave silent praise. It wasn't easy for me.
So I didn't feel the same hesitation in seeking…clarification to alleviate my confusion as any normal teenager would have, although I was not without trepidation. I understand that mentally and intellectually you are far beyond the average seventeen-year-old. I studied the notebook in my lap as if the meaning of life had suddenly been revealed there. You will need to be patient and selfless—qualities you have not exhibited in abundance up until now. She calls herself 'Bella. For the first time in my life, I was instantly and fully aroused by the mere glimpse of a woman. I sat down at the desk I thankfully didn't have to share and prepared myself for another round of tedium in biology. Carlisle walked into his office and gave me a quick hug, a smile lighting his face. I understood Alice's expression of pity as well. I chuckled silently as she caught her foot on something and almost lost her balance. After being waived in by the receptionist, I stood in Carlisle's office waiting for him to answer his page. In contrast, I work hard to constantly educate and improve myself. It wasn't easy for me. It didn't matter that they knew nothing about me—I could have been a depraved killer for all they cared. She flipped her hair over her shoulder to give herself something to hide behind. What in the hell was it about this woman—this girl, really—that had me so unnerved? I knew that if I had to sit through another tiresome class my fantasies would return full force. A moment later I noticed a female figure passing up the aisle towards the front of the room. I visualized myself holding her wrists above her head in one hand, while my other hand and my mouth elicited involuntary moans and gasps of pleasure, her body helplessly writhing under mine—all intellect and reason lost in sensation. You're seventeen now, Edward, and the hormones are kicking in full force. They're just too uninteresting — not fully formed enough to capture my attention. I even felt some degree of…stimulation on occasion. The look of apprehension in her eyes as she sat down had simply added to her appeal. I moved my chair closer to the desk in terror that someone would notice, my hands convulsively gripping the edge of the wood. Jessica Stanley was among the most empty-headed, least sympathetic creatures in this school. She carried herself with an alluring sense of vulnerability. That was the only explanation.
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